Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The New American FARMER Idol

Imagine we are watching a new type of American Idol contest. America's best and brightest are sharing their discoveries that create worm free apples without pesticides on American Farmer Idol, in it's 7th season.

First envision a contestant from Monsanto. This person brings a flashy display of GMO seeds that have tough skins the worms cannot penetrate. They've inserted the gene from the armardillo into the apple. We all laugh alot, and they are voted off the show for not taking the competition seriously. Imagine needing a titanium apple peeler! Imagine the armadillo taste! Simon strongly suggest that they find a new profession.

Then, enivison a young woman. She's been trying different ideas to stop the worms from eating her apples. She likes to have the apple all to herself and figures the worms need something else to tempt their taste buds. She develops a worm feeding station that all the worms enjoy so much that they leave the apples alone. When the worm's short life is up, they fall down a chute and the waiting chickens goggle up these high protein snacks and create even better eggs for the young woman's breakfast.

Then, envision an older man - not your typical Farmer Idol winner, who discovered in his backyard, that if he used a certain type of mineral that was inexpensive and easily found, that the worms don't seem to be interested in eating the apples on his trees.

We love these two contestants. As a nation we talk about them, debate their ideas and celebrate them. They are not famous scientists. They don't have a Harvard degree. They came from nowhere. We decide we cannot choose between them, and by some coincidence, they work harmoniously together. There is the first tie for the American Farmer Idol title.

Our nation's orchards don't skip a beat and they start with the simple home-made worm feeding stations and create collateral income from chicken eggs. Meanwhile they start applying the mineral to the tree's soil. After applying the mineral for a few short years, the apples are completely free of worms, and the feeding stations are no longer needed.

These two people are awarded the Green Cross, our nation's highest honor for courage! Together they have saved many people from eating pesticide laden fruit and all the health problems that entails.

The orchards in our land are now free of pesticides and the apples are even more sweet and juicy. The armadillo skinned apple never made it to the market, and we are still free to bite into delicious nutritious apples without titanium teeth!

No comments: